This Assholes Anonymous Meeting is Called to Order

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” -Marilyn Monroe

The quote has popped up on my Facebook newsfeed more times than I care to count. It is posted most often by single friends but not exclusively. Regardless of whether or not the person blasting this quote on Facebook is single or married, younger or older,  this Marilyn Monroe quote seems to be typically heralded as an expression of female empowerment and  is almost always met with agreement and support, like:

“hell yeah!”

“I love Marilyn”

“AMEN!!”

“That’s right and any guy who can’t manage can get lost”

Well, here goes–I’m going to just come out and say it—STOP IT! If the above quote truly describes you and your behavior, perhaps you should consider therapy. If you actually believe that you are entitled to behave irrationally, selfishly and out of control and others are supposed to just accept it or be considered unworthy of being treated with respect, that is a problem. I’m not sure if these women aren’t really reading or comprehending this quote or if they think having a vagina absolves them of behaving like complete asshats.

Let’s change the scenario a bit. What if a man updated his status to say:

I’m self centered and jealous. I’ll make mistakes,  I’ll lie, I’m controlling, quick to anger, manipulative and I will cheat. If you can’t handle the bad days, you don’t deserve my good days. “

Would that be met with the same response? I have little doubt he would be completely admonished, even though, if you want to hold Marilyn’s original quote up against the details of her personal life, the rewrite is just an elaboration of the original quote. I suppose it just doesn’t sound as eloquent, much less admirable or empowering, even if it is completely accurate.

If you are the type of person to “test” your relationships, don’t be surprised when people eventually fail. Now, Marilyn Monroe’s mental illness is well documented and was obviously a major contributing factor in her treatment of and expectations in, not to mention outcomes of, her relationships. She was married and divorced three times and her longest marriage was five years. Her affairs are just as famous, if not more famous, than her marriages. The bottom line is, anyone that knows the slightest bit about Marilyn Monroe’s troubled history knows that Monroe’s personal life is not one to emulate. If I need to give my relationship philosophy in 20 words or less, I much prefer the tried and true “Golden Rule” or any of its variations. Just treat people the way you want to be treated. It’s one thing to admit to being fallible. It’s one thing to admit you are flawed. It’s quite another thing, though, to believe others are obligated to unconditionally love you and accept bad behaviors without the slightest consequence.

Now, for the love of Chardonnay, stop the madness. If it makes a difference, just remember Lindsay Lohan has stated how closely she identifies with Monroe. You don’t want to be in that club.

 

30 thoughts on “This Assholes Anonymous Meeting is Called to Order

  1. My passion for everything about Marilyn Monroe

    Yes, a lot of things have been written about Marilyn Monroe.
    She is unquestionably an American legend and the idol of millions
    of fellows around the globe. I am a giant fan of
    Marilyn, too. She was the most beautiful and sexy woman who
    lived on the Earth. She had so delightful smile, and she was so sweet and attractive.

    She was a symbol for many American girls which have been inspired so much by her.
    Marilyn Monroehad some extraordinary capability to make delightful influence to anyone
    she met in her life. Everybody was so fascinated by her when she appeared anywhere.
    She got a lot of attention from her fans and lovers
    of her movies. She was the real head turner. A lot of men were so unhappy that they
    can’t marry. There was only one man who was happy enough to gain her
    heart – President John. F. Kennedy. Marilyn had tremendous influence on him, indeed, and
    their relationship got truly magnificent dimension.

    They enjoyed each other so much every day and every second
    of their life

    Marilyn starred in so many movies and a lot of beautiful
    songs have been devoted to her. I am a collector of everything which is related with Marilyn.

    I was interested in some truly delightful porcelain figurine
    of Marilyn. I was searching over the Net pretty
    long time, and I found a lot of things about Marilyn Monroe.
    Finally, I found the company named WEXONMART Inc.

    , which sells truly terrific porcelain figurine of Marilyn.
    So I purchased this figurine immediately. This terrific figurine says a lot about Marilyn Monroe.
    She will stay in our hearts forever.

    Craig Langridge

    Santa Barbara, CA

  2. Pingback: The Days Of The Week Are Racist Too - Something Authorly

  3. Thank you for addressing this. The Marilyn quotes get on my damn nerve endlessly. It’s one thing to admire the woman for what she was able to achieve and it’s another thing to put her on a pedestal as if she embodies what a woman should be. Uh, no thanks. She was beautiful, yes. But bat-shit crazy.

  4. Yep, the voice of reason. I have long waged a battle against this type of double standard. For me it is “humor” about, usually, a husband and wife where the ending is something along the lines of “the doctors say he’ll be able to start eating solids within a couple of weeks and his vision should return to normal”. In other words, his wife has beat the crap out of him. A lot of women seem to find this type of joke hilarious and feel quite empowered (another word I hate) by them. When I receive these “jokes” I re-write them so that it is the woman who is beat up, send it back to the person who sent it to me and ask them if that version is acceptable and funny as well. I cannot tell you the number of people who have told me that I have no sense of humor because of this.

  5. If you don’t mind, I’m going to use the term ‘asshat’ in my next post about stupid people. :) Love it! And, I enjoy reading your blog. You make me laugh and have inspired me to let my hair down and tell it like it is.

  6. “…..they think having a vagina absolves them of behaving like complete asshats.”
    You pretty much nailed it right there. Sadly, most confuse acting out and being bat-shit crazy with vagi-powerment.

  7. Just the other day I posted on FB saying how silly it is that there’s this other quote of Marilyn’s going around, saying how life is a beautiful thing and worth smiling about (or some equal bullshit). This from a woman that killed herself. Really? I hope I’m not the only one whose eyes are about to pop out of their sockets from such ferocious rolling at the motherfucking irony.

  8. I’ve often wanted to post the male version of this. Mine was: “I’m kind of a douche. I’m not terribly interested in things other than me. I do many things wrong, sometimes intentionally. But if you can’t handle me when I’m a dick; then you don’t deserve me when I’m slightly less of a dick.”

    Instead I just hide anyone who posts this quote from Marilyn.

    Could not agree more with the post.

  9. Accountability for sure. Those out of control folks certainly risk it all. I cringe at the Amy Winehouse types… mental illness is serious… drug addiction is heart breaking and the two togther just tragic … it’s important to know the difference between those types of out of control and just being emotional for a moment over something real or imagined. Good topic! While we are at it let’s support those who need help in getting it.

  10. Reblogged this on Not A Teen Anymore and commented:
    I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but life has been absolutely nuts lately! I really need to force myself to write again, I’m getting out of the habbit and I hate that. Hopefully I’ll be able to do my own post soon, but in the mean time here’s a reblog of an amazing post! I love this blogger so much and I hope you guys enjoy this little bit from her!

  11. Hear hear! Very well said. The double standard anti-men sentiment drives me insane! Somehow women think it’s okay to bash men at every turn but if it were the other way around there would be hell to pay. And I agree that men and relationships are really not that hard. Be nice and they’ll be nice back. (Unless one marries an ass. But if he is an ass at the start then why do women think marriage will magically change that?!)

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