Just Sayin’

Things that puzzle me:

Who coined the phrase “slept like a baby” to describe a restful, fulfilling night of sleep? Did they not have a baby? Had they never met anyone with a baby? Based on my experience with four babies, the phrase makes, absolutely, no sense. “I slept like a baby” should be used to describe a restless night of sleep, that occurred in 2 hour increments that has resulted in complete exhaustion.  I move that we change the meaning of that phrase, immediately!  All in favor, say “Aye”.

My son had told me he wanted a toy vacuum. Has anyone else ever noticed that all of the cleaning toys are in the girls’ toy aisles? Up until recently, Number Three’s favorite toy was a baby doll and a stroller. He loved his baby and loved pushing her around in the little stroller. Others would shake their heads in disapproval and say, “that’s a GIRL’S toy”, to him. A statement directed at me. I know, I know. Letting my SON play with vacuums and baby dolls could have dire consequences. I mean, he could grow up and—dare I say it?–Hold a REAL baby or *GASP* vacuum!?!?! What would become of society?

Then, there is my husband. He showers for any and every plan and event. I mean ANY AND EVERY. If he is going to the store, he takes a shower.  If we are going out to dinner, he showers. If he is going outside to do lawn work, he takes a shower. If he is going to run or to the gym, he showers first. After the doing the yard or working out, he will shower again. Okay, so I get showering before going out and I get showering AFTER working outside or exercising. I have always been thrown, though, by the pre-yard work/running shower. Can anyone explain this to me? Bueller? Bueller? Even though I know it is stupid, when the batteries are going dead in the remote control, I just try mashing the buttons really hard for days, rather than take the time to just change them.

Why are people so grossed out by the very idea of tasting milk that came out of a human being but don’t think twice about guzzling liquid that came out of a cow’s tit?

Now you’re all up to date on what has been running through my mind these last few days. Anyone else have random thoughts like these?

Random Musings and Bitching

Maybe I am still a bit hormonal or oversensitive but I want people to STOP telling me, “You look good for having just had a baby”.  To me, it is the same as saying, “You look like fat dog shit but it’s okay because you just had a baby”.  I know I look like shit.  I haven’t brushed my hair in weeks.  I haven’t lost even a portion of the baby weight and I haven’t slept since the second trimester.  You don’t have to try to convince me I look decent, especially when you are so horrible at it, you basically tell me I look like ass. 

Moving on–I have been telling my husband over and again, I would really appreciate him taking on the laundry, including folding and putting away (the steps he ALWAYS ignores), on his days off.  Number Four has proved to be more than a bit overwhelming, especially when coupled with a busy toddler.  I have never been up for any awards for housewife of the year but the house seems to have gone to hell in a handbasket since the latest arrival.  So, the other day, the hubs has a day off and he decides he is going to roll up his sleeves and help me get some shit in order.  The garage.  I shit you not.  He spent all fucking day organizing the muthafucking garage.  It looks immaculate but what the shit am I supposed to do with a clean garage?  I might be pissed about that one for a while.  

Finally–When you call a doctor and tell them that your child has been coughing and congested and they ask, “Does he/she have a temperature”?  Well, I sure as shit hope so!  I would think not having a temperature would indicate that one was a bit late with the call to the doctor.   I am just sayin’